No Good Very Bad Day

Ever get that completely insecure feeling that your not very likeable? I've just had one of those days. Those days where you feel like your friends just tolerate you and your family loves you because they have too. I've been frusterated since a majority of my friends live far away. Mostly my fault. If I had stuck around St.Kitts I would've retained more friends. And those I am in contact with in far off climes are busy like me and don't get to connect that often.
But what really ticked me off this week was that one friend blew me off twice and another keeps forgetting to email me back with some important information I had asked them. Normally this wouldn't irk me but I'm tired of being the one who constantly has to make overtures of friendship to keep things going with certain people. I wish that people would call me instead of me having to call them, or if they would write the first email instead of me, or if someone close by would want to go out on a hike with me or climbing. I wish I was feeling less insecure and less selfish but I'm not. So there *pout* I don't normally have a full blown bad mood but boy am I having a moment. Well compared to most it isn't that bad. I just get really quiet for about half an hour then tell myself to get over it life is good so shut up. This will pass soon enough, and no doubt more quickly then it should. (as Mr.Bennet would say) I've just had a moment were I had to admit that things have been kinda shitty lately. I've had a series of crap jobs, my health is ridiculous and I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. I also don't like not being busy and helping others but I can't cause it's become physically taxing. FRUSTERATED. I am also facing the prospect of yet another surgery and possibly losing my summer which I had looked foward too. And I won't know for sure if I will until next Wednesday.
I'm going to go read Calvin and Hobbes comic books and go to sleep early. Hurumph.
go check out this music link. They are about as snobbish and as bitchy as I am about music. Go elitist jerks go.